Monday, May 18, 2009


This is the story of Phil and how it all ended.

Phil died.

Well, not really. There is no Phil. Phil is a metaphor. I knew a Phil once, but there is no connection.

Why Phil? Little wordgame there, purely to amuse myself.

Phil and I knew each other a very long time. I fact, I knew Phil longer than any other person in the world did.

Not that our relationship was picture perfect. In fact there were times that I flat out despised Phil. Especially the fact that while I was spending all my time with Phil other folks who knew him got to spend at least some time away from him. Then he died. We all got time away from him.

What's a death without a funeral?

So the big sendoff happened. It wasn't so big, but it happened. Only I wasn't asked to say anything. Not even invited. Not that I got upset with those who were, but ... I spent more time with Phil than any other person - but wasn't qualified to speak.

Which stung quite a bit. Why the hell had I been straight up ABANDONED with Phil if I wasn't good enough? I had sort of rationalized the time I spent with him as a tacit endorsement of my ability. Apparently I was fooling myself. I was just dumb enough to let him be dumped on me.

All this happened some time ago. Still smarts though, but I'm just realizing the extent of it.

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