Disappointment

Sometimes having MS really sucks.

It is never a pleasent thing. Many of the difficulties are more annoyances than anything. Pretty severe annoyances no doubt, and they do kind of build up, but just annoyances.

A matter of perspective, really. Some of the things I see as annoyance some others might see as something much more difficult.

But sometimes it's like getting a baseball bat cracked across your skull.

A few months ago I mentioned something would either be really cool or really dissapointing. The title of this blog entry should indicate which way the wind blew. Well, that, and the fact that I never really mentioned it again.

See, I don't like stories that end on a downer. Writing them, anyway. This one started well enough ...

Remember several months ago when I mentioned the group Shonen Knife in an aside? That mention got me thinking about the group, so on a whim one day I visited their official band website ...

Holee crapjacks with maple syrup.

Not only was the group coming to Minneapolis, I found out about it with enough time to make plans! And make plans I did ...

First was the venue. I was a bit concerned, because it was a place I had never been before. I know someone who hangs out there fairly regularly and ran things by her. She didn't think I'd run into too much trouble because of my lack of mobility. Still a little anxious, but I felt better about it.

Second was getting there. No problem. Getting back? Problem. See, I take special transportation. That transportation ends at 11 pm, long before the show would be done.

No problem. Just take my cell phone with me and call a cab when I need to get home ...

But what if my cell phone breaks? Or gets stolen? And it's winter and cold, so if I fall down ... Not to mention still being anxious about never seeing the place before ...

So in short, anxiety won. I couldn't even think rationally about things as the show got closer. Finally I just decided to heck with it. I was too messed up to enjoy myself any way. I miss lots of shows. What was one more?

Except this one was kinda important.

See, I saw going as kind of a two-finger salute to this disease. I wanted to go at least partially because it was the sort of thing I'm told - often not explicitly, which just makes it worse - I shouldn't be doing. Something bad might happen.

Ah, to hell with that. And I don't swear on my blog.

But I got myself all worked up, the day came and went. I missed out.

So that's a downer, right? Where's the uplifting ending?

Well, in a few months X will be in town. 31st anniversary tour. In a way, better 'n Shonen Knife would have been. A venue I'm familiar with, springtime, a very important band.

Think I'll go.